"History, as we know it is all wrong", according to my good friend, Scott Wolters, who, like most of my friends, I have never met.
You see, fellow Newsvine Fiends, take "fer" instance, Neanderthals. Historians, to a pinhead, state that this sub-specie went extinct because they were, well, "slant head dummies". Not so!
Tain't so, potato Hoes! Neanderthals didn't go extinct, they just migrated to Alabama, where they easily blended in, undetected, with the Calcified Conservative Re-Puritans living there since the beginning of time. No one was the wiser until Alabama's number one Neanderthal, Jefferson Davis Sessions, popped on that silly, red, stupid looking baseball hat, (made in China by Communists). Sessions added insult to injury when he graciously crammed his narrow-minded, tiny, greased head so far up the "Orange Buffoon's" backside that he, single handedly, blew the doors off of that historic myth. It was obvious to everyone in attendance, "Little Jefferson Davis" was a Neanderthal, and, so, apparently, was most of the folks in attendance.
Drumpf, drooling with self adulation, announced that he, alone, was appointing the former "Laugh-In" TV star (known for his role as the "Gay Southern Poet") to the lofty office of the United States Attorney General! Thus, forcing Jefferson Davis Sessions, (named in honor of that sour puss, the deceased President of the U.S. Confederacy, the notorious cross dressing traitor, Jefferson Davis), to gallantly remove his Trump hat, thereby, exposing his tiny, slanted, greased forehead for th
e world to see and, hopefully, take notice.
Few observers, except me, noticed. Did you?