Fresh from the orgasmic adulation of the American Conservative Association's Annual Meeting and Money Exchange Convention, our FAKE president, "The Man-Child", (shown above), Donald J. Trump, stunned the national press corps, Eat the Press - Don't Read It, (the premier provider of "REAL FAKE NEWS", when, "the Orange One," unveiled plans to "shrink the government by 2/3 instantly"! "The Pus*y Grabbing, Donald" proudly proclaimed that he, and, "he alone", would save hundreds of billions of tax payers' money with a single swipe of his mighty, all powerful pen by signing a other Executive Order"! Another Executive Order that Bannon had written for him! "Thereby", our Illegitimate, Fake President ranted, "wiping out the unnecessary, duplication and incompetent of the other two branches of government. We don't need three incompetent branches when one will do!""It's H U G !" the fake president said, gesturing with his tiny hands."Bigly", he bragged! " Bigger and better than anything Obama or Hillary could ever do! I mean this is going to be Really B I G", he said staring into his hand held mirror and not at the audience!
Just then, a rude queried was uttered by a Fox TV Fake News Reporter, Bill O'Reilly, "How could you make such a preposterous statement"? "Easy", replied the confident Fake President! " I plan to cut out the Legislative and Judicial branches of government. I will save billions and billions of dollars!"
A "pesky, impertinent" correspondent from the REAL FAKE NEWS, FOX TV NEWS NETWORK NEWS, then, shouted out, "is that even legal"? The Commander-In-Cheese instantaneously demonstrated his new found powers and limited less authority by having the reporter "bound, gagged", then,"tossed out" of a nearby window. She screamed all the way down to the basement floor. As a silent testament to Trump's growing power the press corps remained absolutely silent. Not one newspaper correspondent, reporter, or, fake journalist dared to speak up, or, even look up!Sean "Spicer" Spicer growl at the shivering press corps and barked, "You, sons of bitches are all dismissed"! Quietly, without a sound, the Fourth Estate retreated, quivering like a cluster-fu*k of spineless political pundit,s they slithered toward the exit on their hands and knees. "Get the Hel outta here", railed the Press Secretary, "We will call you, bitches, back when we want to lie to you again!"
Steve Bannon, in attendance, leapt to his feet decked out in his familiar pajama bottoms, soiled sweat shirt and signature no socks gym shoes! Bannon alone applauded. "Now, that is what we Alt Rights call, decisive action", stated Steve Bannon as his sipped from an opened beer can. To add injury to insult, Bannon whacked at press corps with a copy of Breitbart, as they scurried out of the Press Room in utter dejection, panic and disarray. Bannon shouted as loudly as he could, to no one in particular, "Listen up, Fake News, I am now president of the American Tea Party & Russian Hackers Society! And, I, Steve Ban-non, Leninist, am the real author of the Trump/Bannon Decree. Hear me roar!", Bannon, then, let rip a piercing roar sounding like an injured Big Foot in heat! The remaining press member raced towards the door in panic!"Is this the beginning of the end, or, the end of the beginning", I wondered aloud, and, was immediately slapped down by Bannon?This is Wintrope Merridethe, The III, Publisher & Flounder, Eat The Press - Don't Wipe Your Bun With It - It Scratches, signing off, way, way off. "Before I crawl back under my rock, let me ask you this: 'Do you support the draconian actions of our FAKE PRESIDENT and his new BF, Steve Bannon, Whitehouse Adviser to the Fake President'?""If so, why? Respond in 140 characters or less. We are trying to save the trees!", Winnie adding getting in a plug for his environment policies.